


for legal reasons this is not vodka

by marginaliana



Category: The Grand Tour (TV) RPF
Genre: CHM 1000 words challenge, M/M, fest fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-12
Updated: 2018-06-12
Packaged: 2019-05-16 16:37:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,000
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14814992
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/marginaliana/pseuds/marginaliana
Summary: Reading glasses, Lego, the inventor of the car horn, and Definitely Not Vodka.





	for legal reasons this is not vodka

**Author's Note:**

> For the Picture Paints 1000 Words challenge.

  
  


Richard's reading glasses were a distraction. James knew he would get used to them; he always had, in the past, when he noticed a change. But it happened in fits and starts, as if Richard were frozen in some moment of perfection for months or years until suddenly he skipped forward to the perfection of his next life phase. Long, seventies rocker hair; wild and scruffy short hair; goatee (oh, the goatee). And now the reading glasses, which made him look neither old nor distinguished but roguish, as if he were a respectable adult who was secretly getting away with something.

Which, James supposed, he was. They all were – well, Jeremy had skipped past 'respectable adult' right into 'getting away with literally everything,' but both James and Richard had made some attempt at being normal before they'd lucked into lives that had ended up here, decades later, drinking Definitely Not Vodka and putting together Lego in front of thousands of viewers.

Lately James had found himself wondering what else he could get away with. Kissing Richard, for instance.

It wasn't just that 'roguish' was a good look on him, although it was. It wasn't just that they were both single now and that James was swiftly losing his ability to care what other people thought. It wasn't just that Richard was smiling more, giving the world the gift of his big, beaming happiness. 

It was the way that Richard kept suggesting things for them to do together. Bikes they might muck about with, little games they might play. The heated seat game was a perennial favorite, of course, but there was a new version of I Spy in which everything had to rhyme, and 'Jeremy's Worst Outfit,' and a round-robin adventure story in a notebook that they swapped back and forth under cover of car literature. 

Richard's character was named Jack Dangerfield and wore biking leathers with panache. James' character was called Martin Moriarty and had long hair and a collection of flat caps. They were spies who had been paired up for a mission (the plot as yet undeveloped beyond that), and were still learning how to work together. It was all a bit of a laugh except for the way Jack Dangerfield kept thinking about Martin Moriarty's hair and how soft it might be, about how his blue eyes would make all of their suspects give up their secrets. 

Richard's latest story section, passed to James in the office yesterday, involved a chase scene through the streets of Los Angeles in stolen go-karts, trading banter all the way. And then today, when the production team had come up with the idea for this competitive Lego thing, Richard had been the one to decide that what they were making should be go-karts.

Things were beginning to add up to an interesting conclusion. A rather nice conclusion, actually. The question was – was James going to rely on what he thought he knew? He could be sensible and let things be, he could play it safe. But he also could do something wild and exciting and quite possibly throw himself into disaster.

Richard's reading glasses weren't helping. The vodka _definitely_ wasn't helping. Or, well, possibly it was helping his ability to put the Lego together – hard to tell – but it wasn't helping the bit of his subconscious that wanted him to be sensible. That was fading into a dim murmur, replaced by the bit of him that wanted to make Richard happy. He was rather proud of himself for coming up with 'Rudolph Haruba' as the inventor of the car horn, given that it made Richard laugh until he was breathless.

The project took longer. And longer. And longer. They passed the 45 minute mark and got drunk enough to get sentimental, but stayed sober enough to pretend they weren't getting sentimental, which was probably for the best. Xander got more annoying and then less annoying again, which was almost certainly an artifact of the drink because normally he was annoying at a fairly steady level. 

Eventually James realized that, although he was enjoying himself, he'd be enjoying it a hell of a lot more if it were just the two of them, without four office staff and god knows how many hundreds of thousands of internet people. Richard seemed to feel the same way, too, because he abruptly indicated that he was done now, thanks very much, and he barely managed to make a decent showing while the staff figured out how to shut everything down.

It was a relief when the cameras went off, just as it always was these days. Not that James liked his job any less, but he was too old and too famous not to take advantage of every moment of peace. Richard disappeared into one of the side offices; after a moment James followed him. He suddenly knew that he was going to go for it – not because of the vodka or the reading glasses but because the two of them fit together, they made each other laugh, they had real chance of making something good together. He wanted that.

He tugged the door open and slipped inside, closing it behind him. "Hammond."

Richard turned, pulling off his glasses and swiping his hair out of his face. "Mmm?" He looked and sounded tired, but his eyes brightened just a touch when he saw it was James alone.

"I want to make it absolutely clear," James said, trying to keep his voice steady, "that I'd be doing this even without the Not Vodka." He reached out and curled a hand into Richard's hair, drawing him in. 

Richard tilted his head back and came willingly. "Yes," he said, the words no more than a breath, "but would you be doing it without the Lego? Because I did woo you with that. A bit."

James laughed, and thumped Richard with his free hand, and he was still laughing when Richard leaned in and they kissed at last.


End file.
